


Letters Never Sent

by YellowPaint606



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, I Need to STOP WITH ANGST, I submitted this for homework, I’m educating my teacher, M/M, Oikawa sends letters, Please Kill Me, Unrequited Love, another iwaoi angst, bon appétit, i hope this turns out fine, the teacher liked it actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27799837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowPaint606/pseuds/YellowPaint606
Summary: Sometimes there are words that never should have been told. Other times there’s too many things that should have been said. Oikawa knew this. That’s why he wrote the letters. Letters with everything he wanted to say. Letters only his eyes saw. Letters never given. Letters never sent.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 16





	Letters Never Sent

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this for a unit essay for school and uhhhh... she liked it so maybe? this is okay? Once again thank you if you’re actually reading this and giving my work a chance :)

_So, this is the first of probably many letters I may or may not send. I’m not really sure what to put in this letter, uhm, thanks for being my friend Iwa-chan~. I know you hate that nickname but I absolutely love it and your reactions to it are always priceless. Do you really hate the nickname or do you just hate me saying it haha… please don’t answer that. I probably won’t send this letter. -Oikawa_

The paper was crumpled and worn out, probably stashed away somewhere for a very long time. His signature was always so neat, Iwaizumi couldn’t tell how Oikawa’s handwriting was so clean and his was so… messy. He placed the letter back in the box, moving to the next sheet of paper at the bottom of the stack.

_Thanks for reminding me not to stay up too late watching the replay of today’s volleball match, I probably will stay up but just knowing you somewhat care for my wellbeing -even if it’s just because you want us to play good tomorrow and not actually because you care for me- it still makes me feel like I may be worth more than I actually am. So thank you, Iwa-chan, for worrying about me when nobody else would. -Oikawa_

Iwaizumi frowned, how stupid was he to think nobody cared for him? He glanced at the whithering flowers placed on the ground next to where he was sitting, the cold dirt and the breeze sending a shiver down his back. He skimmed through the next few letters, stopping on one that caught his eye.

_You finally got a girlfriend. You looked so happy, I’ve never seen you smile like that, at least not at me. I shouldn’t be surprised you never noticed anyway, I was only Stupid-kawa or idiot to you anyways. I mean, what person in their right mind would fall for their best friend? -Oikawa_

_You noticed how out of it I was during practice, I know the hand on my shoulder was only to refocus my attention but my heart started beating like crazy. Why do you do this to me? It’s so unfair, why can’t I just be normal. -Oikawa_

“W-why didn’t you say anything?” Iwaizumi muttered, his voice wavering. He read through more of the letters, stopping on the passages only dating a couple months ago to steady his breaths. 

_I’m such a bad person, I felt grateful -not sad- grateful that the girl finally broke up with you. You didn’t act like it but I could tell you were heartbroken, so why did I feel so relieved? Was it because I thought I may have a chance? It couldn’t be that, you would never think of me that way, girlfriend or no girlfriend. I’m just the annoying friend who’s only good attribute is their hair. -The Annoying Friend_

Iwaizumi’s heart clenched, if only he had known sooner, maybe things would be different.

_I can’t keep pretending anymore. I don’t know how long I’ve been pretending, but I think I have loved you since we were kids. I’m sorry. I think I have always seen you as more than a friend. I’ll tell you today after practice, I don’t know what I’ll do if you hate me afterwards. Please don’t hate me. -Oikawa_

Iwaizumi didn’t want to see the next letter, already knowing how this was going to go, but he did anyway. He had to. For him, at least. He had to do it for Oikawa.

He lightly touched the gold medal around his neck, tracing over the words ‘National Volleyball Champions’ in order to calm himself before flipping open the next delicate paper.

_I don’t know how I can live anymore. The horrified look on your face made me instantly regret ever saying anything. I don’t know if I could’ve kept it inside much longer, I had to do it but now I’m not sure what pain would be worse. You hate me don’t you. I understand if you do, I hate myself too. -Oikawa_

Iwaizumi’s vision began to blur from the forming tears in his eyes. He willed his hands to stop shaking as he used his shoulder to wipe his tears. He hoped Oikawa could know Iwaizumi has never, and will never, hate him. If only he could tell him that. 

_This will be my last letter to you. I hope you understand this isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I just couldn’t help falling in love with someone who I never had a chance with. You’re so perfect and I’m so... me. It tore me apart. When I do leave I hope you continue to make the team proud, please get to nationals for me. And if not for me than for yourself. I know you guys can win without me holding you down. I’ll always be cheering for you, Iwa-chan, please know that. I love you Iwa-chan. I love you so much. -Oikawa_

The world stilled around him, holding their breath as Iwaizumi finally broke down since the funeral a month ago. Iwaizumi leaned on the headstone, his tears cascading down his cheeks, falling onto the name etched across the grave of a boy too young to have left this world. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Oikawa.” Iwaizumi clenched the letter in his hand, holding onto the headstone that belonged to his childhood friend, a friend that was too special for Iwaizumi to realize until he was gone. 

A breeze blew past Iwaizumi, drying the trails of tears left on his cheeks. Iwaizumi apologized over and over again, hoping that at least one of them would make it towards Oikawa.

Iwaizumi sat next to the grave, curled up with a box of letters that were never sent, words that were never told. Eventually, Iwaizumi ran out of tears, to his surprise. He chuckled weakly, pulling the hard medal off of his neck and gently placing it over the cold stone. 

“This is for you, we… we did it Oikawa. We won nationals.” Iwaizumi smiled, touching the headstone. He remembered his best friend as he let go of the cardboard box with all of Oikawa’s unrequited feelings and hidden thoughts. He remembered him as he stood up, staring at the stars above him that shone almost as brightly as his friend once did. And as he walked towards a world where he could only move on and remember the timeless memories of a special friend, he said goodbye to a friendship that was supposed to last forever.

**Author's Note:**

> If you did waste five minutes of your time reading this then kudos to you, you’re my favorite person <3


End file.
